Friday, January 27, 2017

Out of the Ashes - Hank and Ford

Ford Stanley is still marveling at the surprising lack of carnage after a new babysitter with the twins. This Hani kid was clearly made of tougher stuff. As he marveled, it dawned on him he had never followed up on his message to his father, the one he left before Wendy set up Hani so they could face parent teacher conferences.  Those were always their own trip with their diabolical twins. Mason had hacked the PA system computer, which when you didn't look at it for delinquency was fairly impressive. Mabel had been caught on the roof again. How did she even get up there? He sighed and dialed his father's cell on a break, waiting for him to pick up and half expecting the machine if his dad was working, which he probably was. He was always working.

Hank Stanley was sitting on his couch, testing out his new HDMI cable.  Modernization was coming relatively simply for him and he had been quite pleased when he selected the right HDMI channel and the picture of his laptop desktop appeared.  Now he could watch movies or even look at his work on a larger screen if he wanted to.  Today ... he wanted to sort some recipes he found in PDF form and saved in a folder on 'the cloud' .. a concept he didn't exactly understand, but it meant less clutter in his house and the whole idea of minimizing appealed to him.  He was about to open up 'the cloud' when his phone rang.  Looking at the time, he knew it couldn't be Judith ... and when he looked at the phone, he saw it was Ford's number.  He sighed.  So much for using the cloud to avoid calling Ford.  He answered.  "Hello."

Ford tensed every so slightly as he always did at hearing his father's voice. "Hi Dad. How are you?" His tone was formal but polite.

Hank looked at his screen and stood, beginning to walk, which he did often when he talked to Ford.  "I'm .... excellent, actually.  On my 48.  Beautiful day.  Life is .. wonderful."  he still has this walking on air feeling about himself.  "And ... how are you?  Wendy?  The baby?  The twins?  I didn't see them on the news, so I'm assuming that's a good thing."

Ford can't help but laugh and be curious about his father's beautiful wonderful mood. Maybe he was just glad to have a tiny bit of time off. We're good here. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you about the sitter night. Wendy found a teenage they actually didn't try to drive to a  nervous breakdown. Who knew it was possible. anyway, we'll hire this kid again so I won't call you in a panic so much."

Hank smiles as he walks to look out of his kitchen window.  "That's alright.  I'm glad you found someone brave enough to handle the twins."  he pauses.  "He can use the breaks and ....  I ... "  he hesitates again, realizing hes actually nervous about telling Ford about Judith.  "My weekends might not be as ... free ... as they used to be."  maybe Ford would simply accept that, although Hank was feeling like a coward.  He hadn't dated after Elizabeth died.  It was too much like work.

Ford twirled a pen from his desk "Oh? Keeping you extra busy over at the Fire Department right now? You short staffed? I just had a few quit myself. Pain in the ass eh."

Hank straightened a few things on his kitchen counter.  "No ... no ... everything is great at work."  he pauses for a longer moment.  "I've been ... seeing someone ..."  he confesses.  "And it's getting pretty serious."  not that Judith and he had out and out used "the L word" but that's how he felt, at least.

Ford drops the pen and a little tap can be heard as it hits the desk "You've been WHAT?" He shakes his head around, knowing that was the wrong way to ask so he back peddles "Sorry.....when did you...how...who is she?" He fumbles it all out and then clenches his jaw.

Hank tenses at the initial tone, as if he'd just confessed to being a serial killer.  He stands straighter and looks out his window at the back of the clinic building.  Then Ford backpedals a bit.  "Actually she is one of the people Mason and Mabel chose when they opened that account on that dating site .. Table For Two?  She and I .. really got along from the beginning .. well, once I changed my profile from the miracle fireman Mason made me out to be."  he licks his lips.  "She's a teacher in Theta."

Ford exhales in a little grunt "Yes, that was very...helpful...of them..." He laughs a bit derisively "A teacher? Is this a younger woman?"

Hank relaxes a bit.  "Well, I didn't plan to use it.  I sent off about six messages to the women he'd contacted.  Judith was one of them."  he arches a brow at the derisive tone.  "She's the same age as I am."

Ford is notably surprised by this and says "Oh. Well OK then. As long as you're happy right?" There's an ever so subtle bite to it but he'll never come right out and say what he's thinking. For years though Ford has had this unspoken edge about his father and women, including all topics related to his mother, who is long passed away.

Hank has a curious look on his face.  "Well, yes.  I mean your mother was younger than I was and the few I dated before I married her.  But its only a few years older so ..."  he realizes after he says it that maybe bringing up Elizabeth wasn't such a great idea, but ... it was out now.  "But yes.  I'm VERY happy now.  Happier than I've been ... in .. a while."

Ford slumps at the topic of his mother, closing off to the whole conversation now and saying flatly "Well that's good Dad. you do what works for you. Listen, I think my time is up here and I need to get back to work. Good luck with it all." There's no suggestion that he has any interest in talking about any of it beyond this brief conversation.

Hank considers a moment, but where he may have simply, just as shortly, ended the conversation, he instead sighs.  "We're going to have to talk about this sooner or later, Ford.  Judith is in my life ... hopefully to stay."  its been years and years of this.  "I know you loved your mother and I know you BOTH blame ME for what happened to the both of us."  although he always felt they both blamed him for what happened to Ford ... and Ford alone.  "We need to have that conversation, Ford.  Soon."  he sighs,  "Have a good day, son."  and cuts the call off, dropping his head in one scarred hand.

Trying to go back to what he'd planned to do, Hank tried to just forget it.  Maybe talk to Ford later.  But .. later with Ford could well be never.  And after he had lunch, he decided he would just ... do it.  Judith wasn't going anywhere ... Hank knew it.  She felt more right than anyone in his life and he planned to be happy ... at long last.

Locking up his place, he left his apartment and headed for his car and the ferry, hoping as he headed for Cedar Point, that he was't being forced to choose between Ford and his family ... and possibly having love in his life for the first time in literal decades.

Ford looked at the phone in his hand as his father cut the call in rare but absolute fury. He slammed it down as his foreman came in with a clipboard "Is this a bad time Ford?" he asked awkwardly.

Ford took a long breath and took the clipboard "No it's fine. Just fine Will. You need me to sign off on that?"

"Yes Sir." Will said carefully. He'd never seen his boss mad, which made it extra scary. He took the clipboard back and smiled nervously.

Ford chuckled a bit "I don't bite. I'm going to go take a long walk though. If anyone's looking for me, you can tell them to do the same....just kidding...I have my cell. If it's urgent, call me OK?" He patted Will on the arm and stepped out of the office.

Hank drove into Cedar Point effectively meditating behind the wheel.  He parked near the cop shop and walked into the factory office.  "Hello.  I am Hank Stanley, looking for Ford Stanley, please?"

Will overhears the older man, who looks like an older version of Ford with some serious scars on his face. He approaches the desk clerk who is reacting to the scars and staring and saves her from embarrassing herself and making Ford's father feel uncomfortable. He steps in and puts out a hand to shake "Will Palmer Mr. Stanley. I'm the foreman. Ford just stepped out to run some errands for the shop....but he's around town if you want to try him on his cell. Nice to meet you."

At this point Ford is looking out from the lighthouse grounds at the ocean and feeling the sea spray soaked wind smacking at him as the waves crash against the cliffs below.

Hank can see the clerk nearing her saturation level.  It happened.  But she was saved by the man who introduced himself as Will Palmer.  He shakes his hand, hoping the man wont freak over the completely scarred hand and smiles.  "I'll do that.  Thanks.  Have a great day."  and he leaves immediately, going back to his car and leaning on it.  This is his chance to just leave town, but .. this needs doing.  Pulling out his phone he sends Ford a text.  "I'm here.  Where are you?"

Ford feels the buzz of his phone in his pocket and assumed it was something work related from Will. He saw his father's text and looked down at the town breathlessly. They were going to do this TODAY? Shit. He texted back one word "Lighthouse."

Hank looks at the reply and then looks up and around, spotting the lighthouse with ease.  Instead of replying, he gets in the car and drives there.  Once he is parked, he gets out and looks around for Ford.

Ford hears the car and walks out from behind the lighthouse, around the side with the entrance "Hi.....didn't expect you to drive over here Dad." He shoves his hands in his pockets like a schoolboy and head juts at the lighthouse "It's closed half the time but I come up here for peace and quiet."

Hank looks around the place as Ford comes around.  "I didn't either, to be honest."  he admits.  He looks around.  "It's beautiful here.  Every town should have a lighthouse."  he murmurs.  Then he takes a deep breath.  "You shut me out, Ford.  That's why I had to come out.  This time ... well this is important to me."  usually he just lets it go so he and Ford don't fight.  "And maybe ... it's time for us to clear the air."  he motions to the lighthouse.  "In a peaceful setting."  if only it were that easy.  He prays it is.

Ford looks apprehensive "Alright. I'm sorry if I was rude about your girlfriend. I just didn't know what to say....." He shifts his stance side to side and rubs at the back of his neck, turning his head away.

Hank sighs and looks at the view.  "I suppose I was hoping for 'Oh that's great, Dad.  Can't wait to meet her.' or something."  he admits, honestly.  "It's been ... nearly 20 years since your mother died, Ford.  And this is the first relationship that ..."  he falters a bit.  "That's even been comfortable for me."

Ford sighs and faces his father "You and mom weren't exactly....." He starts walking around "Dad, I don't even know how to do this with you. I don't want to fight....that's why I shut you out. I don't want you to not be happy...I just don't know how to..." He turns right away now with his back to Hank and his hands on the back of his hips, thinking.

Hank closes his eyes when Ford turns his back.  "Just TALK to me, Ford."  he asks.  "We haven't had a talk since ....  a real talk since before the fire."  that damn fire that, in hindsight, took everything EXCEPT his life.


Ford turns back around to face his father, again with that rare look of fury he kept so bottled up and spat out "I don't blame you for the fire. I never have. That's not what I shut you out about....it's what you did to Mom I can't forgive you for, after the fire."

Hank sees the fury, but for a moment is drawing a blank.  "What are you talking about?"  hes always thought it was the fire.  It always had been for Elizabeth.

Ford's fury is staying on the surface. He couldn't shove it back in now if he tried. "I don't know why the fire changed YOU. Mom stayed with you, she tried, and the first chance you got with someone, you screwed around on HER!" He gestures in the air with his open hand "I SAW YOU!! I was 15 and I walked to the hospital to surprise you after one of your rehab sessions and I saw your car in the parking lot......and you in it....with that nurse. I can't even remember her name....I don't want to....." On the last sentence his voice goes hoarse and his eyes fill with tears. He finally manages to ask the question that's burned him more deeply than the flames in a strained whisper "After all Mom went through watching us both suffer...HOW COULD YOU?"

Hank's jaw drops and he stares at Ford as his anger spills.  "Henrietta....."  he whispers, remembering the nurse perfectly.  "The fire ... it only changed my physical ...."  he closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath, not wanting to get angry in return.  Needing his professional calm to meld with his natural calm and help him.  "Ford."  he begins.  "What do you remember about your Mom and me ... especially AFTER the fire."  he wonders if Ford may have a false memory or two.  "Like ... did you mom visit me while I was in the hospital.?"  he stops there.  Elizabeth had been absent ... his Captain and a doctor had told her what had happened.  How he would look.  Ford's burns were less ... obvious.  And Elizabeth had been so vain.

Ford looks confused, and still angry "Of course she visited you! What are you talking about? She visited you when she visited me.....and then when I was home we sometimes went at different times but I know she went. She told me she went. Did YOU forget?" His reply shows that his perspective, and what he was told do not match his father's.

Hank inhales slowly and exhales.  "Well the first few days I was under a morphine blanket, but ..."  he blows out a breath.  "She didn't visit me, Ford.  And when I got out of the hospital ... she came that day while you were in school.  I'll never forget the look on her face when she looked at mine."  he tightens his jaw.  "She told you it was MY idea to sleep on the couch?"  it is more question than statement of fact.  He is getting angry, but not at Ford.

Ford shakes his head and looks like he's been punched "That can't be right...she loved you. She was probably just upset about how close you came to dying. I was.....I still feel guilty that it happened because of me..." He swallows again and looks away "I never should have followed Danny Fenkel up those stairs...."

Hank sighs deeply.  "Maybe...."  he doesn't finish that thought but moves on to another.  "Danny Fenkel ... meant well.  But that was just a fluke you and I got caught up in but ... son ...."  he sighs yet again.  "Think back all of your life.  Not just after the fire, but before it."  as those are the sections of Hank's life at least.  Before and After the fire.  "How many times did you see your mom and I hug?  Kiss?"  his voice is gentle, but tinged with something like .. resentment.

Ford thinks for awhile and then just looks up at his father "I thought you guys were just really...private about it. I mean some people just don't.....but I guess now that I think about it....it IS weird that you didn't." He has a sinking feeling and has to ask "Did you and Mom fall out of love and stay together for ME?"

Hank shakes his head and then shrugs.  "I would have KILLED to hug and kiss your mother the way it was when we first got married."  he blows out another breath and leans heavily against his car.  "I .. don't know.  I know your mother loved my job.  My ... looks and body.  She first saw me in a fireman's calendar in my probationary year."  he bites his lip.  "And she did amateur modeling ... until she got pregnant, of course.  Then ... you wouldn't remember Charlie Avery ..  my Captain back then.  He got burned and your mother saw him ... and then he died and ... "  he blinks and clears his throat, looking around for something to look at.  "There were a lot of realities in your first three or so years of life, Ford.  I didn't quit my job, but I begged her to ... yes .. to stay with me for you.  You know my father took off on my mother."  he holds his hands up, helplessly.  "Anyway ..."  he clears the emotion from his throat again.  "She stayed .. on HER terms.  Not the least of which was I would have a vasectomy.  She said she'd be damned if I widowed her with a bunch of babies to raise on her own."

Ford just looked pained as his father goes on and then stutters out "Dad...I didn't know....why didn't you tell me after she died at least? I've been pissed at you for fuckin years.....I'm sorry." He looks truly at a loss.

Hank shrugs.  "Well before the fire, I wasn't interested in sharing my one way love life with you.  After the fire I wasn't interested in telling you I'd been completely cut off from any kind of affection."  he scoffs.  "And after she died ... It never seemed to be the right time to tell you how it was.  She was faithful to ... well hell your a man .. my tongue before the fire and afterwards she just wanted you to worship her.  Even if you hated me .. maybe even it was better that way."  he sighs and drops his head.  "You didn't need to know about her vanity, or affairs, or .. any of that.  And I am ... I'm not sorry about Henrietta.  I tried to be, but ... I thought I was a monster after the fire, Ford.  Horrible to look at ... disgusting to touch .. and sex ... forget about it.  She made me feel .. human again.  And I STILL gave that up trying to save my family."  he lifts a hand to cover his face.  "I'm so sorry, Ford."

Ford was literally swaying in place, like a rug had been ripped out from under him, because it had been. His mother was falling from grace, hard and fast and his father....his father was human, so much more so now than ever. He shook his head slowly, walking forward and then with no words or warning, hugged his Dad hard and cried into his shoulder.

The hug was unexpected and for half a second Hank did not respond.  Then he was hugging Ford back, as if he was just being reunited with him.  "I'm so sorry, Ford."  he croaks and then he is hugging harder, almost clinging to a son he felt he'd lost to a fire in a school.  "So sorry."

Ford lets everything he'd been holding in for years go and just sobs managing at one point to get out the words "Me too......"

Hank holds and cries with his son for long minutes before he pulls back.  "No ... Ford.  You didn't know."  he swallows hard.  "I knew .. she married my career and couldn't handle it. But I was afraid if I left ... even when you were a boy ... I ... I was afraid I wouldn't get custody.  Most men don't.  And we were so close." he sighs and claps him on the shoulder.  "Our perfect little boy.  I thought I had ruined it ... ruined YOU ....  scarred you."  he runs his hand through his hair.  "God I am playing so much back now ....  God."

Ford shakes his head "You didn't ruin me Dad. She lied to me and I saw something I didn't understand.....so I became a real jerk. Wendy's been working on me for years or I'd be worse..." He chuckles and swipes at his face "If this Judith makes you feel as happy as you says she does, I do want to meet her. We can't take back the past. We can only work on what we have now."

Hank nods and wipes at his own face.  "Wendy .. oh Ford, she is the best thing ... to ever happen to you."  he nods.  "I'll make that happen.  Meeting Judith.  As soon as I can."  he tries to smile.  "I sort of owe Mason .. it's all because of that little hacker of yours."  even though Mason didn't exactly hack anything.

Ford has to laugh now "He's brilliant and dangerous, that boy. He hacked the school's PA system they told us at the parent teacher conference......I had to force myself not to grin. Then they tell me Mabel keeps getting caught on the roof. I don't even know how she gets up there. She's got some hidden grappling hook under a tree or something. Wendy is the BEST. If we survive the children it'll be a small miracle, but we'll have each other."

Hank laughs.  "Well, I talked to my crew and they told me how to pus a password on my laptops.  Not that it will stop Mason."  he groans a little.  "I worry about Mabel ... If I didn't know better I'd think she was born in a rising lift."  he smiles.  "Wendy IS the best.  She's been so patient.  With both of us."

Ford waves off the idea of password protection "Yeah child's play...other people's children. I've been imagine that Mabel might secretly be able to levitate......news of the weird...... Who knew Wendy and I could combine to create the twins. Bless them. Robbie seems normal so far but who knows right?" He laughs "Did you warn Judith that it goes beyond signing you up for a dating site? I mean I bet she's glad about that part. Does she have grand-kids? You said she's a teacher, maybe she's seen it all...."

Hank laughs.  "I don't now how you did it.  Maybe they are just freaks of nature.  And Robbie ..."  he mock groans.  "I don't want to think about what he could do under the loving training of his siblings."  he shakes his head.  "Not really.  But now that he's hacking the school computers ..  I had better.  She has two little granddaughters.  Six and two.  They sound sweet and computer illiterate."  he chuckles.  "I'll bring her over some weekend ... one of my whole weekends off maybe.  Not sure.  We can stay at a hotel."  he holds up his hand to stem any protest from him.  "And if Wendy tries to blame you for that tell her that you have a thirty five year record of NOT seeing me having sex ... why mess with perfection?"

Ford laughs awkwardly "I don't think I even want to say those words. Wendy will think it's FAR too amusing. I'm determined not to get hung up on the past...but Mom...you said she had relations outside your marriage too. Did she tell you about them...or did you.... catch her?" He looks horrified at the thought.

Hank chuckles a little.  "Yes ...  Wendy would ..."  and then he flushes a little and drops his head again.  "Remember, Ford.  Your mother was very vain.  Beautiful and vain.  And ... she had a mean streak."  he bites his lip.  "She ... told me ... all attractive men.  You know ... "  he sighs deeply.  "Unscarred."

Ford's fury flashes again, just for a second "You should have divorced her. We'd probably still be here doing this....I'm sorry. That was not OK that she talked to you like that. Clearly Judith doesn't see your scars as something to use to hurt you."

Hank sighs and looks at his son.  "I had my own issues about a broken home.  And it may have been worse if I had divorced her when you were 5."  he smiles.  "No ... she doesn't.  It's like ... and you know I am not a religious man ... like its meant to be for us ... now ... not when we were young."  he shrugs.  "You know ... It was Henrietta who suggested I council other burn victims.  Once she helped me ... not the WAY she helped me, of course, but ... thats how I got into it.  I never loved Henrietta but ... she was a good friend when I needed her and .. I'm not sure I would have LIVED to meet Judith if not for that nurse."

Ford smiles at his father. It's genuine and it reaches right to his eyes. It's the first real smile, the first real conversation they've had in a very long time "Then I'm glad for Henrietta. Funny about the name. And I get it. Judith is like your Wendy. But it all happened since Christmas? New Years? Shit, it's January 27th...." The timeline dawns on him and he starts laughing "when did you meet Judith?"

Hank loves that smile.  "Well ... Mason contacted her first .. but I apologized for it on New Years Day."  he clears his throat.  "I know it feels fast, but ....  well ... I love her Ford.  It feels like I've been with her for 40 years."

Ford keeps smiling and sighs at him "I seem to have blown off work so let's go for a beer or something? I should at least text Will and tell him I couldn't find the right washer heads for the conveyor or something so he can cover for me. Best guy I ever hired that Will Palmer."

Hank grins.  "I would LOVE that."  he realizes then .. he and his son have never done that ... ever.  "I liked that young man.  I'm afraid I may have given your clerk a few nightmares, however.  I'm sorry.  Mr Palmer stepped in before she could say anything ... which may have been less than polite.  Poor girl."

Ford rolls his eyes "Yeah Sheila. Jury's still out on her if she can't be polite to you, and if your scars freak her out, what will happen when some new kid lops off a finger or a part of a hand on the chopping line?" He starts walking towards his Dad's car and jokes "Just so you know, we charge extra for the cans from THOSE days." Ford had of course joked after the fire but never with  the sense of connection he was feeling now. He had missed it.

Hank comes close to chiding, but as Ford says it, it makes sense.  "Scream like Robbie when he doesn't get his way?"  he winces.  "I'll be sure to watch the news out of here carefully and avoid canned goods for the next year."  he mock shudders.  "One drink, because I have to drive back.  But I wouldn't miss this one beer for anything."



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