Coon Calls - Part 2 - First Blood

Michael Reinhardt almost couldn't believe it when he heard his radio squawk.  Officer needs assistance.  Cody came back just in time for his turn at the desk, where hopefully no one would walk in and wind up with a citation.  So Michael took a cruiser to Ryan’s location and, pulling up almost couldn’t believe what he saw, four raccoons all over a car.  Michael stops his cruiser and gets out moving slowly to Ryan’s side.  He looks completely incredulous.  "So .... this ... is .....  normal?"  he asks, cause it’s the strangest thing he’s ever seen.

Ryan nods, his tazer in his right hand and pepper spray in the left. "Yeah. But this is extreme....even for here..."

Ryan gestures at a middle aged balding man with glasses cowering in the driver's seat. His car is filled with food wrappers from various take out places, all contributing to the smell that attracted the raccoons.

"Might want to clean out your car Sir!" Ryan yells towards the window.

Michael reaches for his own pepper spray and tazer as he takes in the scene.  It was like something out of a horror movie ... or maybe a comedy.  The man IN the car looks terrified, at least.  "Alright ...."  the raccoons are all over the car.  Two on the hood, one on the roof and one at the passenger side door.  "OK ..."  he almost repeats, unsure how to proceed.  "Pepper spray and taze if they attack?"  he asks, that seeming to be the most logical solution to him.  Experimentally, he takes a step forward and around the front of the car, trying to flank the fur balls.

 Ryan nods "First we'll try annoying them with noise, but these ones don't look too scared...."

Ryan starts banging on the side of the car with his pepper spray can and yells at the creatures "Get outta here...Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!" at the top of his lungs. The racoons startle but then just stand and stare at the officers.

Michael raises both eyebrows, but follows Ryan's lead.  It isn't working.  "There wouldn't be an air horn in the trunk of one of these cruisers, would there?"  he suggests.  "That’s the loudest thing I can think of."

Ryan looks encouraged "Yeah and the sirens. The residents will hate us for a few minutes...but it might work...." He glares back at the raccoons "Let's blast them!"

Michael nods and motions them both back to the car.  "Let’s give it a try."  He gets in the car leaving the door open.  Flipping on the siren in his cruiser ... he waits.

Ryan walks to the other car and does the same. Three of the animals scamper off down the street but one remains, right above the driver on the roof. It peers down into the window as the occupant unwraps a hamburger and takes a bite. Ryan watches the man in disbelief and then looks at Mike with wide eyes.

Michael watches as three take o but one remains.  Then the driver starts eating.  "What the ....."  he gets out of the car and approaches, pepper spray extended.  He sprays towards the animal and he turns, clearly angry and runs towards Michael, pausing to bite hand before running over him and towards Yamada.  Michael swears and grabs one hand with the other, pepper spray hitting the pavement/

Ryan charges forward, seeing Mike get bit and then tries to dodge the animal, holding out his own pepper spray. The racoon looks at him with bloodshot eyes and then dives at his leg, biting him hard through the fabric of his pants before he can spray. Ryan cries out "Ah fuck!" before shaking it off his leg and giving it a swift kick. It whimpers and runs off, a bit disoriented and swerving. Ryan grits his teeth and heads straight for the car now and pounds on the window "What the hell is the matter with you Mister?! Why would you open up more food?!"

He looks towards Mike worriedly "You ok man?"

The passenger nervously presses a button and rolls the window down "I eat when I'm nervous....sorry!" His face is red and a little moist with sweat.

 Michael doesn't see Ryan get bit, but he does hear the swearing.  He straightens slightly, shaking his pain filled bloody hand.  "Damn thing BIT me."  he looks at the man in the car.  "Well, they are gone, sir.  You can go on with your day."  Which is followed by half a dozen words in perfect German which are unlikely to be complimentary.

Ryan gives the roof of the car one last smack with his open hand and nods, even though he doesn't speak German - he has an idea of what Mike may have spouted off. His last words to the man are a sharp "Clean out your car!" before turning back to Mike "Yeah he got me in the leg. I think we might need shots. Did you see its eyes?" He watches in irritation as the car with the hamburger eater pulls away.

Michael watches the man go while shaking his aching, bloody hand.  "Shots?"  he blinks.  "As in RABIES shots?"  He sounds ... reluctant.  "I mean .. they eyes were red . That’s not natural?"  Big city boy knows nothing about raccoons.

Ryan sighs "Yeah I think we better go get checked. I'd hate to start frothing and then lose my mind, know what I'm saying? I don't think the local clinic has the stuff all the time so let me drive us to White Rock. You're not afraid of needles are you Mike?"

Michael sighs.  "You're leg okay to drive?"  he asks.  "I can probably drive, too."  he arches his brows at Ryan.  "I seen too many drug addicts dead with the needles still stickin out of them to completely trust needles .. OR doctors."  He grumbles.  He straightens.  "Okay ... lets man up and get out of here."  He sighs deeply.  "My car or yours?  And I say we go with the sirens..." which are still blaring, since neither of them turned the damn things off.

Ryan laughs "I can do it. It's my left anyway. Let's turn off the other one though or Angie will have both our asses if she gets calls from the whole street all day about the noise." He walks over and clicks the siren off and then radio's in "Uh Yamada and Reinhardt seeking medical attention. We might be....rabid. Can someone pick up a cruiser on Galley Crescent by the school? I'll hide the keys in the usual spot...over..."

Michael gets in the car on the passenger’s side and  is looking at his hand as Ryan calls it in.  He listens as Cody, sounding somewhat jealous, agrees to get the car.  "What is WITH that guy?"  He marvels, waiting for Ryan to start driving.  Seems like it’s going to be an interesting day.

Ryan clicks off the radio and then laughs "Maybe he's already rabid? I better fuckin drive or we'll all be Code Naults!" Ryan pulls his seatbelt on and puts the pedal to the metal dramatically, causing a wheel spinning squeal as they peel out of Galley and turn onto Main heading for the hill, head turning from all directions at the speeding cop car heading for the edge of town, sirens blaring.

 Michael snorts.  "A fate worse than death."  he agrees and leans back as Ryan peels out of town.  "This is not how I thought I would spend time getting to know my fellow officers."  He rolls his eyes.  "I was gonna deposit the check I got yesterday, maybe go have a drink downtown and start looking into housing closer to where I work NOW."  He blows out a breath.

Ryan turns off on the exit for the 99 and then breezes past the traffic as it moves over and slips effortlessly into the merge. He chuckles to himself "Sirens for rabies, never for donuts. Shit." He glances over and clicks off the siren "I don't think we're going to die on the way and there's no backup right now. Depending on what they give us we might be able to drink after. But while we're killing time and not yet foaming at the mouth tell me about where you're looking for a place? And after that, tell me who that hot blonde is who handed you a check.....that caught my attention, not that ALL gentlemen prefer blondes, but you seem to..."His tone is a little teasing about the woman.

Michael chuckles as the siren is finally turned off.  "I need a place that is NOT in Vancouver.  Closer to Cedar Point.  Maybe even IN Cedar Point.  House, apartment, condo, doghouse or houseboat, I don't really care."  He laughs.  "Ah ... you saw that?  That was Sara.  My ex-wife.  She was dropping off my alimony.  First of every month she hands it to me."  he shrugs.  "Celebrity models."  he almost growls.  "Goes to their heads, man.  I don’t know how many times she cheated, but I finally just divorced her over it."  he shrugs.  "Although sometimes she IS still around come the morning of the second of the month ...."  Suggesting that near smoldering near kiss sometimes became more smoldering other things.

Ryan raises a brow "You lead an interesting life Mike." It's all he can think of to say about alimony until he asks "You guys have kids?" Ryan checks the rear-view mirror and then moves back into the slow lane letting a big rig pass them on the right.

Michael snorts in reply.  "Nooooooo.  She didn't want to ruin her perfect size zero getting fat with my child in her....  her words, not mine."  he shakes his head and glances out the window.  "You got kids?  I don't see a wedding ring..."  may as well get to know each other before they are rabid frothing zombie officers.

Ryan smiles awkwardly "No kids, no ring. I do have a girlfriend, it's kinda new still. Sorry about your wife....well ex, now."

Michael nods.  "Now is good."  He remembers.  "And you live and learn I guess.  When they are career minded, the relationship goes to hell."  He shrugs.  "My mother wants me to go for a nice Irish girl.  My father says another German one, but more home-minded."  he rolls his eyes.  "Of course, my parents fight like its World War Two all over again sometimes but they're still married.  Maybe its my mothers strong red haired Irish temper or something?  They're full of those racial stereotypes .. we heard all about it all the time growing up."

Ryan chuckles "Can't choose your parents right? Brothers and sisters? I got one of each, both older than I am."

Michael blows out a breath.  "Ohh yea.  I have a brother.  John.  My parents had tried and tried to have a dozen children and nothing but John.  SO they just stopped trying and BAM ... John was twelve .. and I'm not sure he's ever forgiven me."  He laughs, good naturedly.

Ryan blinks and then glances briefly at Mike "That's eerie. Garrett's exactly twelve years older than I am...for the exact same reason. They had Steph and the doc said they couldn't have more. Ooops here I am!"

Michael laughs a bit.  "That is weird."  He agrees.  "Accidents like us need to stick together."  He chuckles.  "Did your brother try and kill you on several occasions when left to baby sit you?  Of course John SWEARS he wasn't.  A few times he tried to shut up my crying using good old fashioned Irish whiskey."  he shakes his head.  "Miracle I ever saw double digits."

Ryan hunches a bit over the steering wheel "No Garrett was more of a pyro and taught me how to set off fireworks "Here Ry hold this while I light it......two less eyebrows later..... Steph's style was more physical torture and interrogation once I grew too big to dress up in doll clothes.THAT doesn't leave this car by the way. I still can't look at a bonnet without my heart racing in fear."

Michael laughs.  "Man see I could have lived with that.  Well, maybe not the doll clothes, but ... yea ...  your secret's safe with me.  My mother wanted a daughter.  She got me as the last hurrah ... unless they got something to tell me since the last time I talked to them.  I'm lucky I DIDNT wind up in doll clothes.  But she taught me all the old Irish dishes and the meals my father likes.  SO I cool like a housewife."  He rolls his eyes.  "You feel like taking a bite outta anybody?"  He wonders.

Ryan looks sideways at Mike with a wary expression "Don't fuck with me man. We're still ten minutes away. I'm good....so far. My leg feels a little sore and itchy but I've had worse. If you promise not to chew on any nurses you can make me a schnitzel pot pie or something OK?"

Michael shrugs.  "I wouldn't know if we were developing rabies or not, man."  he scoffs.  "I've been stabbed twice in ten years and one bullet grazed me.  Now I needed a TETNUS shot when some crazy bitch high on PCP decided to take a bite out of me, but RABIES?  Should we have shot that damn rat?  Raccoon .. whatever?"  he cocks an eyebrow.  "Depends on how good looking the nurse is and where she lets me chew on her."  he grins.  "And Ill make dinner for you AND your woman if we make it out of this."

Ryan shakes his head "Jesus Mike. I've had a few hand to hand situations but nothing like that. I worked for the West Van PD before Cedar Point so a couple of times we got called to a B&E in progress. And a few weeks back a woman went ape shit in the Black Hole and was ready to cut me with a broken glass until I pulled out my tazer. But that's considered odd in Cedar Point...AND she's from West Van...." he laughs sardonically before saying "We can't shoot the raccoons. We have to call it in and let conservation make the decisions about wildlife or it's our asses. We should make sure Cody told Angie we got bit so she does that though. As soon as I park I'll text her." He turns into the lot and starts circling the rows. "We'll be fine, bored maybe but fine. You're on for cooking though. Indy's a bit....slow to want to meet people so I'd have to run it by her." he says carefully "But watch yourself around those nurses. They'll sedate you if they have to Mike." He finds a spot and turns in and then turns off the car and pulls out his phone to send the text.

Michael chuckles.  "West Van is NOT the Devil's Kitchen neighborhood of Vancouver."  he reminds.  "Oh was that that .. Alice chick I was hearing about on the street yesterday?  A couple guys were saying this did that AND tore up the supermarket?  And you DIDN'T taze her?"  he snorts.  "You think Nault did his job?  Yea ... we're dead meat."  he shakes his head, mock sadly.  "As soon as I get a place, I'll invite you guys over.  Irish and German food mixed together in something that is probably against the Geneva Convention."  he watches Ryan as he writes and sends the text.  "Sedation is startin to sound kinda good about now."  he blows out a breath.  "Thank God for black uniforms."

"Alison Chase." he mutters as he watches Angie's all caps reply comes across his screen "Oh shit...... he didn't tell her......and she's not happy. I almost wish we were there to watch......" He looks over at Mike "I feel a little gross too. Maybe it's psychological, like watching someone puke and feeling nausea. Let's go in." He undoes his seatbelt and pockets his phone before pushing his door open.

 Michael snorts.  "Of course not.  Too busy giving parked cars tickets for going under the speed limit."  he blows out a breath and undoes his seatbelt with a growl of pain.  "That hurts .. yea ... that is not fun."  he gets out of the car and slams the door.  "Nault can wash the goddamn blood off the seats."  he blows out a breath as the gimp into the emergency room.  Two cops, both apparently injured.  He wonders if it’s like the Devils Kitchen here or not.